Signs of the times…

 

I’ve seen a post or two recently about the “Honoring Confederate History” sign that the Sons of Confederate Veterans have put up on I-35.  There’s some discussion of what should be done to get it taken down.

I don’t like the sign.  I don’t like the idea of “Honoring Confederate History.”

I don’t know if I know anybody who is in the Sons of the Confederate Veterans.  Maybe they are perfectly nice people, but I worry that this kind of club is a “closeted” way of finding fellow White supremacists to hang out with.  I worry that when “closeted” White Supremacists find acceptable ways to hang out with each other, that they are more likely to come out of the closet.

That brings me to the second sign.  It’s a sign for some show on HBO that features drag queens.  I couldn’t find an example of a drag show billboard in Waco, but we certainly have drag shows in Waco.  What if one of them decided to buy a billboard like this to advertise?

I know there are folks in Waco who would be offended to see a billboard advertising a drag show posted up along I-35.  I imagine some people would be grossed out, disgusted, outraged.  I know people who worry that drag shows are just a “closeted” way for sexual deviants to find fellow sexual deviants to hang out with.  They worry that if closeted sexual deviants find acceptable ways to hang out together, pretty soon they won’t feel like they need to be closeted any more.

What’s the difference between these two signs?

I have friends who would say the Confederate sign is about promoting hate and racism, the drag show sign is about accepting people for who they are and having some fun.

I have other friends who would say the drag show sign is gross and perverted and an example of inviting moral decay into our community.  They might say the Sons of the Confederacy group is a way of learning about history, a way of remembering that even though slavery was bad, the soldiers who fought for the South were honorable, brave people who have been unfairly disparaged and deserve to be remembered and honored.

I have friends who wouldn’t like either sign.

This is the complexity we choose for ourselves when we choose to live in a country committed to the ideal of freedom.  We choose to be offended and even outraged sometimes because we understand that if we want to be free, we have to put up with other people’s freedom too.

Sometimes we even find ourselves in the aggravating position of sticking up for someone else’s right to be despicable. We know the sword cuts both ways. We know that we might want to do something someday that they might think is despicable, and we want them to be obligated to stand up for us.

This messy business of living with freedom is made more complicated because “live and let live” is not always the answer to getting along with others. Sometimes people do go too far, and we should not put up with it.  At some point, tolerance of evil is evil.  Unfortunately or fortunately, there is not a final, pat answer about how people who disagree with each other should live together in freedom, we have to keep tending to it.

So, what about the Sons of the Confederacy sign on I-35?

I don’t like it.  I can certainly imagine a scenario where a Confederate Pride club like this one might go too far with a sign, but this particular sign doesn’t seem to be doing that as far as I can see.

The space between “I don’t like that” and “they should not be allowed to do that” is important to me.  That buffer zone protects our freedoms.  I would not want to outlaw the Confederate Pride billboard, not because I am “OK with it,” but because I would not like it if the powers-that-be decided to outlaw a drag show billboard or something similar.

That space between “I don’t like that” and “they should not be able to do that” is an important space for speaking up. Hearing that what I am doing is offending or harming others is what allows me to moderate myself so that I can live (mostly) peacefully with my neighbors. Hearing from others who speak up helps us learn to consider our own beliefs in the context of the whole.

Is the space between “I don’t like that” and “they should not be able to do that” a space for full-blown pressure campaigns and harassment of the people with whom we disagree?

That’s a personal decision. I am not you.  I haven’t lived your life.  I can’t tell you how angry to be or how much energy to spend on trying to force “the other side” to stop doing whatever it is they are doing that offends you, or that you believe is harming you.

Personally, I worry that we-the-people are in a little bit of an outrage arms race right now.

I don’t feel like it is serving us well. It’s exhausting and time consuming and distracting.  I worry that in our zeal to limit the aggravating freedom of others we may unintentionally pave the way for eroding our own freedom.  I worry that being outraged about everything is a little bit like crying “Wolf!”

I feel like we are sometimes overly vigilant, constantly on the lookout for things that are supposed to offend us. Sometimes it feels like we are mounting all-out battles when maybe an eyeroll, and a “No Thanks! That is gross!” would be enough.

That’s certainly how I wish the anti-drag show zealots would respond to drag shows.  I wish they would roll their eyes, say, “No thanks!  That is gross!”  and then just walk away.  If that is what I expect of others, shouldn’t I do the same for the Confederate Pride club?

So, no thanks, Sons of the Confederacy.  I don’t like the idea of a club to honor a group of people who were willing to fight a war so that they didn’t have to give up their slaves.  That’s gross!

I’m not going to pitch a fit about your billboard, because much as I don’t like it, I believe to a certain point you have a right to your beliefs and your Confederate Pride club.

Please remember that I stood up for your rights when it comes time for you to stand up for the rights of someone you don’t like who disagrees with you.